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I’ve been rambling about these Dragon Ninjas of the Undead for a while now. Assuming you haven’t given up on my words as the mere mutterings of a madman, you might be saying to yourself, “I like dragons, ninjas, and zombies, but how could you possibly contain the sheer glowing majesty of all three concepts in a single world?”

Good question. Let me answer it with a brief overview of the setting:

Dragon Ninjas of the Undead (DNotU) captures the coolness of dragons, mixes it with the sweetness of ninjas, and adds a tub of gooey zombie goodness for a heady mixture that is as unique as it is familiar.

On the Nature of Heroes:
In the land of DNotU, some of the heroes are mighty dragon warriors waging an eternal war against the warriors of shadow (that’s ninjas) and rotting flesh (that’s zombies). Other heroes are dragon-folk going on quests for their dragon lords, raiding zombie warrens and ninja temples, securing their enemies’ gold and magic items.

Ninjas are heroes too. Ninja heroes sneak into dragon lairs and zombie warrens, stealing their gold and magic items. Sometimes they sneak so deep into dragon or zombie territory, they walk up right behind a dragon lord or zombie master and just assassinate him. They loot his body, taking his gold and magic items.

Are there zombie heroes? Yes, there are. They are the most heroic of all, in an angst-ridden sort of way. Not all zombies are mindless monsters shambling about in constant search of brrraaaaaains. Some of them are smart enough to know what’s going on, and have the will to resist their fiendish urges. As long as they retain their resolve, they can use their supernatural abilities to hunt down dragons and ninjas, eat them, and take their gold and magic items.

Finally, the truly legendary heroes of DNotU are the dragon ninjas, the dragon zombies, and the zombie ninjas. These stalwart champions live in two worlds at once, fighting dragons, ninjas, and zombies on every front in their on-going quest for power (usually in the form of gold and magic items).

There are no dragon ninja zombie heroes. That would just be silly.

On the Nature of Villains and Conflict:
One faction’s hero is another faction’s villain. See above. You’ve got three mighty factions, constantly in conflict with each other. How much more conflict could you want? Oh, I suppose there might be mutant wizards around too as a common enemy, but they don’t get top billing.

On the Nature of Magic:
Magic is a powerful force of nature. No one knows where it comes from. It’s just there, like gravity or mud. Dragons have really powerful rituals that take years to perform, but can change the shape of the world when they are complete. Ninja magic is fast, adaptable, and can be used by anyone with the training. Zombies aren’t so good at magic, but it flows through them and gives them neat supernatural powers like super-strength and great digestion.

What? That’s not enough for you? Well, stop yer bellyachin’ cuz I’ll be filling your eye-holes with more DNotU goodness over the next few weeks.

If you cast your mind way back into the days of yesterweek (two posts ago or so), you will recall that I began an epic quest for the forbidden lore of the Dragon Ninjas of the Undead.

Before embarking on my journey into the underworld to interrogate the ancient thinking machines from some bygone era, I sought the wisdom of that lovely and gracious oracle, my wife.

“Did you look on one of those back-up CDs you’re always making?”

Such wisdom! I thanked the oracle for her generous prophecy and promised to sacrifice a dozen doves in her honor upon my return.

Sure enough, the back-ups were right where she said I’d left them. And one of them even had the secret scrolls I was looking for: the master notes for the Dragon Ninjas of the Undead!

And now, with those sacred secrets in hand, I have begun a new quest: To polish this bit of forbidden flotsam into something brilliant. Something that’s not necessarily good, but definitely awesome.

Inspired by the words of my inspirational wife, last night I began a quest into my own past. It is a quest sure to fraught with peril (is anything ever “fraught” with anything but peril?), for I see the perfect storm of pure awesomeness, the trifecta of all that is cool and righteous, and the very pinnacle of the world’s hopes and dreams. I seek Dragon Ninjas of the Undead!

DNotU is an over-the-top fantasy setting I made up as a joke while working at Fantasy Flight Games. The world captured the coolness of dragons, mixed it with the sweetness of ninjas, and added a tub of gooey zombie goodness. Somewhat to my surprise, the idea had legs. They were short, stubby, Hobbit-legs, but those who got it really got it, and were morbidly interested in seeing where I could go with it. When I moved on from FFG, the boss agreed I could take DNotU with me. After all, it was just a silly joke.

And now the time has come for that seed of silliness to blossom into a mighty, man-eating zombie oak of silliness. Only… I can’t find my notes. I could have sworn they were on my hard drive here. But though I was up past my bed time looking for ‘em, they never turned up. Maybe they’re lurking, ninja-like and patient, on one of the old computers in the basement. The quest continues!

In the meantime, dear reader, if you happen to have that original post from 2002 lurking on your computer, please send it to me, and I’ll give you a prize.